Its. Like. You know. 1 am and I'm like. Sorry.

Im like sorry, you know?
If I sound flighty enough, will I be embraced by my teenage peers?
Its getting to that point where you post things you regret.
Kinda like every time I post.
Why do I stay up so late?
Sometimes its so late that its early. 
Because I don't like sleep.

Why don't I like sleep?
Am I even human?
Because when I sleep, I dream.

And in dreams I can be whatever I want to be.
A bird, a plane, happy?
Even if its someone I shouldn't be.

So instead I like to stay awake.

I choose honor, over sleep.
If you think I'm poetic. I'm not. This is late night talk, and I'm sorry. 






This time is a lie, it's at least one hour later than this. 

I Am A Robot

I can't do what you asked. (human trait)

I'm sorry. (human trait)

I tried. (human trait)

I will do my very best to explain. (human trait)

I made a mistake. (human trait)

I chose something wrong. (human trait)

I used my free will poorly. (human trait)

I can't love. [robot]

Human (7) Robot [1]

"That's it folks, the robots took the win."
"Right there in the end."
"They pulled a fast one on us."
"We thought we were ahead."
"Then we realized we are more than a head, full of circuits and wires."
"We also have a heart and once we lose that, it's over, the robots win."

I lost my heart that day in February, long after we met.
The tricky thing about love is,
once you lose your heart, it's gone.
In order to feel whole again,
someone has to lose their heart to you.
I know that for me,
this won't happen.
I can't let it happen.
So I am left without a heart.

By default I am a robot.

I'm sorry I couldn't do more. (human trait)

Im a Tourist.

First of all, I must declare how sorry I am.

My writing has been weighted.

I honestly prefer to keep things light. 

I want to be the kind of writer that makes someone laugh. 

I, so badly, want to be humorous, and bring a soft snort (because I know you don't laugh at your computer very often) to someone's day . 

I... I... I... should stop because there I go complaining again. 

I know how you feel.

Thats why I want to make you laugh.
Because heaven knows we need it. 

Men with eating disorders

Hey guys.
Guys specially.

Remember that day in 7th grade,
When the time had come to display our physical strength?
When we had to run a 7 minuet mile.
I ran *cough* walked a 10 minute mile.
The mile run that seemed like a marathon.
Well now I run a 7:30 mile.
I still feel like I miss the mark.

Remember how we never ever played shirts and skins?
Till that day there was a sub.
It was horrible,
wasn't it?
Unless you were one of the few,
who totally felt comfortable in your fit body,
or even in your unfit body.
(No judgement either way)
Well I never felt very comfortable in my slightly over weight body.
And now I have lost 35 pounds.
35 pounds doesn't lighten my body dimorphic disorder.

Remember when we could could eat pizza for lunch everyday?
I like pizza.
I like kale.
I like ice-cream.
I like almonds.
I love brownies.
I like tree bark.

Remember when we came to high school and we did the physical fitness thing all over again?
Well I do,
And sometimes I try to forget.

The truth about weight loss is that,
No one carries around a scale to weigh you.
No one counts your calories.
Less people look at you than you would think.
But the person who is mostly likely to judge you,
Is the person who is always with you.
It's you.

So guys.
Work out.
Eat less pizza.
Eat more kale.

It doesn't matter what you you like.
It matters how you treat your body.

How someone looks its great,
But how they live is better.

Caution: Splash Zone

Rivers run wide and deep,
be watchful how you cross,
or you may get wet.

People can be like rivers.

They are constantly changing,

often taking the path of least resistance.

When you meet someone new,

it's like coming upon river.

You can immediately turn away and leave,

to avoid the situation completely.

You can float right over,

not taking any interest.

Or you can get your feet wet.

I'm not suggesting you drown,

in the current of their problems.

But perhaps you can learn to love the splash,

of water on your heart.

The bitter cold water,

that makes you feel alive

and the warm calm water,

that feels like home.

By loving them,

you may very well find,

you are also learning to love yourself.

Will you remember?

The river you turned away from?

The river you floated across?

The river you ignored?

Or will you remember the river you waded through,

and learned to love?

Your feet will be wet,

your face may be soaked in empathic tears.

Likely,

you will be drenched.

I believe,
you will be a better person,
for getting wet.

Keep Your Crayons

You can keep your crayon. 

You can keep your "cray-ahn".

You can keep your "cray-awn".

You can keep your "crown".

You can keep your "cran".

As for me I will keep my pen. 

Anonymous

I don't know if we understand,

that no matter how anonymous we are now,
the shawl of mystery will be lifted.
And an unflattering light will wash over us,
flattering only the truly beautiful.
We will then all know where the hopeful,
and the hopeless,
words originated from.
All hearts will be exposed;
will we like what we see?
Will you like what you see in me?


In the end,
would it have been better to have never shared?
Once we open up,
once people see,
our hearts can never be unseen.
You can't unread what you have read.
Once something is read.
It has been thrust into the universe.
No matter how many words you use to try and take it way.
Words only ever add and never subtract. 

I'm a Worthless King

Can I trade this crown for a hat?
Please.
Anyone?
Will you trade this golden crown for a simple hat?
I promise,
it is a wonderful crown.
It is all you could ever wish for.
It's not cursed,
I swear.
Well,
for anyone else it is not cursed.
The only problem with it is,
that when I wear my crown,
I am a King.
As a King I cannot leave.
As a King I cannot share.
As a King I cannot have a chance to be with them.
I beg you to take all my lands,
take my castle.
Please,
take all my wealth.
Just in return leave me an old worn hat.
Please take my golden crown,
laced with jewels.
And if you could,
leave me that haggard hat.
Please take all I have.
Leave nothing but that sad torn hat.
All my kingdom,
all my wealth.
None of it matters,
if I can't share it all with them.
So a simple hat I request.
So I might walk outside of these blasted walls.
So I can have a chance for love.
Just one chance.
I know there is no sure promise.
Just.
One.
Chance.
Please take this heavy crown from me.
It may look light,
it feels like molten lead.
It is heavy and hot.
It weighs not upon my head, 
but on my heart instead.